Hello! And welcome to Cum Calls!... Stay on the line to talk to one of our hot girls who are just aching to meet you... Press one for Michelle, who loves to talk dirty while she plays with her toys. Press two for Shantelle, who would love to share her sexy secret fantasies with you. Or why not press three for Tracey, who just adores threesomes and is dying to... Hello? Yes, this is Tracey… Well, hello Billy, are you feeling horny tonight?... Good... Well, I’m 22, slim, blue eyes, auburn hair and... Yes, I do like threesomes as it happens, do you?... Good, because just last night I was being fucked from behind while I licked my girlfriend’s pussy... Shall I tell you all about it?... Oh good, I’m glad you’re hard already, why don’t you put that big cock in your hand while I tell you all about it?... You don’t mind if I play with myself, do you?... Good, because it’s such a hot story, and... Er, yes Billy, I am from the south... London actually... Oh, right... That’s in the north, isn’t it?... I thought so. I could tell from your accent... Northern boys make me feel so horny... Anyway, last night there was me, my boyfriend and my girlfriend and... Oh, right... Yes, I can hang on a minute while you get your cigarettes... Right, now where were we?... Ah yes, so me, my boyfriend and my girlfriend were having a drink at mine, and my girlfriend, who’s never met my boyfriend before, says... Jameson? Ha!... Yes, you can pour me one, Billy... So anyway, she says to my boyfriend... Sorry?... Oh... Well that’s what I’m here for. To cheer you up... So you take that big stiff cock in your hand and... Oh?... I’m sorry to hear that... Perhaps my wet pussy is just what you... What?... No, I can’t meet you. It’s against the... Do I what?... Look, I’m sorry... Listen, I’m going to have to ring off... Yes, I know you’re paying a pound a minute, but this isn’t the Samaritans, darlin... Yes, I’m sorry you’re feeling that way, but I don’t see what I can... You’re going to what?... Listen... I have to go now... Please don’t call again... Goodbye.
From the house across the back gardens, Scott and Mandy watch from the dark of their bedroom window as the undrawn curtains of number thirteen provide a free screening of tonight’s seedy cinematic presentation. The star of the show is that dirty little Herbert called Billy, who, for the last ten minutes has been sat half-wanking on the sofa, telephone held between shoulder and ear, glass and fag in one hand, his cock sporadically held in the other. Both Scott and Mandy agree that Billy is a pervert, a sad drunken dirty little pervert. And yet, despite their low opinions of the pervert Billy, neither Scott nor Mandy can admit to their shared disappointment when the perv at number thirteen puts the phone down and pulls his trousers up, whereupon Mandy then closes the thin gap in their curtains and both her and Scott return to bed, where they will fuck eagerly, almost desperately, Scott coming well before Mandy, and having to listen to her pleasuring herself to climax in the dark, the bed trembling to a rising judder, while Scott, token leg laid across the shaking ankle of Mandy, ponders upon the pervert Billy, while the drunken lost-child of a man at number thirteen across the back gardens thumbs through the telephone directory, pretend suicide breadknife northward still on the settee beside him, until he finds the page of listed Rileys, and begins ringing them all one by one, starting with the obvious M’s for Mick then spreading outward amongst all the other sleepy-eyed Rileys within a forty mile radius, raising them from their beds as the slow violet dawn approaches, asking each Riley in turn who picks up their telephone, man, woman, or child, Are you? Are you married to?... Is your father my father?