SHE’S A FUCKIN LIAR!

Listen, Grace... Last night as soon as you’d gone in it were truth or dare kiss my arse and that, the nights are getting cold and that barbie’s gone out, so over the wall blue label next-door this duty-free litre we’re talking and that, and dancing and that, and she’s saying stuff and I’m saying stuff, then me like a twat goes to kiss her again and I’m sorry and I’m stupid but I’m totally hammered and now it’s fuckoff, she’s pushing me out and I’m like WHAT? Then all day been thinking thinking done nothing at work rough as fuck and I’m thinking I’ll tell you tonight when it’s right when both kids are in bed, then this afto back home, let the dog out when BANG! there she is all daggers and deadeye and face red as fuck, so I ask her What’s up? and she’s practically yelling CAN’T Y’REMEMBER? CAN’T Y’REMEMBER? and I know exactly what she’s on about but I don’t want a scene so I just say Look... BASTARD she says (What?) BASTARD she says. So I’m thinking wait on and I’m telling her so, saying YOU TELLING STORIES OF FIRST COMES AND DILDOS HOW LONELY YOU GET AND WHY DON’T WE DANCE AND WHY DON’T WE DANCE and I’m stupid I know but KERPOW chucks me out turns out, she’s only gone and rung him in DUFUCKINBAI telling him Billy did this and Billy said that and if I were you I’d stay behind that FUCKIN WALL cos he’s flying back tomorrow and he’s NOT FUCKIN HAPPY and I swear to you now as I did do to her, I never said SHIT he were shagging Dubai, I said, I. Don’t. Know. I DON’T KNOW? she says, I KNOW ONE THING...